Last night I was bored, just sitting around watching tv when a klondike ice cream bar commercial came on and suddenly I knew what would liven up my evening! Have yall ever heard of a kentucky klondike bar? I know it sounds like the sweet ice cream treat but it is way, way different. You see, first thing you gotta do is take a nice big shit, not in the toilet though you need to do this on a tray or a platter or something. Once you have a nice steaming pile of poo on there, form it into a nice thick log shape and pop that bad boy into the freezer for a few hours, you have to let it freeze totally solid for this to work right. Once you have your shit log nice and frozen you take that poopscle and fuck all your fuckholes with it until it is squishy and defrosted! It feels so fucking amazing when you shove that frozen shit in your pussy and after you get a yummy treat to eat! Now what could be better than that?
Tag: scat phone sex
What I did for a Klondike bar!!!
We’d been fucking at his trailer all day when we took a break. Sitting in the kitchen drinking a Milwaukee’s Best beer together, I was feeling fine. I’d been trying to get with him for a long time but he had this girlfriend that he was obsessed with. Everyone in our small town had heard the stories about this gangsta freak. She wasn’t even allowed to go to the bathroom alone. She got tired of his weird ways and kinky sex, I guess, and took off with someone else.
“I’ve got a treat for you.” he said, reaching into the freezer as we smoked a joint. He brought out a container filled with what looked like chocolate covered bananas. He carried it back into the bedroom with us. We were higher than kites and fucking like bunnies when he brought out one of the treats. I felt him rub it against my pussy and slide it into my battered asshole. It felt so good and cooling. I arched to take more as he alternately fucked my shithole with the frozen dildo and his hot cock.
He grabbed me by the hair and forced my mouth to his dick. His Kentucky blacksnake was long and thick. One taste and I knew it wasn’t ice cream. It was shit. He was fucking me with frozen shit!!! I could feel the thawed shit sliding down the backs of my thighs as he rammed his dick into my mouth. I knew immediately that it was his girlfriend’s shit. He really was obsessed with her. I was getting my first taste of a Kentucky Klondike bar and I was loving it. A normal girl would be puking, but not me. I am the total potty play girl. I slurped every bit of her poop off his cock as he creamed into my mouth, calling out her name.
We are still together and we often enjoy one of Latisha’s tasty treats with a cold beer. It makes for some hot and sloppy sex. We’ve started freezing some of mine too, for later. What would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
We were mud wrestling the nastiest way
I’m sure that most of you have heard of mud wrestling, maybe some of you have even watched a fight or two but I bet you’ve never seen it done my way! We had an inflatable pool, it was about six feet long, maybe four feet wide and instead of filling it with mud, we filled it with shit. Lots and lots of shit from about ten of us girls, we spent the whole day eating all kinds of yummy things and pooping in that pool until there way a nice thick layer of shit and piss in the bottom of it. That’s when the real fun could finally start! You should have seen it, we were all taking turns wrestling in our own filth and we all got so fucking horny from it that the wrestling around in shit turned to straight up fucking in shit! It was nasty as fuck and everyone in my neighborhood could probably smell that pool from from a mile away but I don’t give a single fuck at all. I was way too turned on to give a fuck about what my neighbors were thinking! Anyway… which of you guys want to wrestle me next?
Freaky phone sex fun at the Nursing Home
So, I took a job in a nursing home as an aide, just for a week, to see if I’d like it better than the truckstop. It was hard damn work and I knew right away that I hated it. The nurses were slavedrivers who didn’t do anything but bark orders. But there were perks.
The place reeked of piss so I liked it right away. Changing all of those dirty diapers made me want to lick those old asses. So many droopy old balls that got covered in shit could’ve used my attention. Forget those wipes. You know how much I love scat play.
I walked into my last resident’s room where an old man was known for his naughty behavior. It seems that he couldn’t keep his hands off the aides and he’d grab tits and ass. They were scared of him. He was always jerking off and made lewd comments to them. When I walked into the room, his eyes got big and a toothless grin spread across his face. He didn’t know that he had met his match with this truckstop whore.
I leaned over and gave him a great look at my tits. I saw his cock rise in his pajamas. He reached for my tits and I let him fondle them. He moaned and it turned me on. Hey, he’s male. he has a cock. I don’t discriminate against age. He slid his hand up under my uniform skirt and began to rub my pussy, expertly sliding his finger between my cunt lips. The old fucker had moves!!!
He stood up and forced me back on the bed. Dropping his pajama bottoms, he had a 10 inch cock and it was as hard as a young man’s. He kissed me hard as he pushed his cock into me. OMG, he felt so good that I wanted to scream. He pumped furiously, almost drooling on me, his toothless mouth wide open. I could tell that he was about to cum and I was too. His old cock exploded and I thought he was going to have a heart attack.
I walked out of the room, his cum dripping into my panties. The nurse barely looked up. “He give you any problems?” “Nope, no problem at all.” I said with a smile. I was horny and already wondering how many other old fuckers were packing the meat and needed my service. I was about to find out!!! I think I love this job.
Slutty Druggy Porn
Honestly I am almost always fucked up. I am always high on something and drinking too. I like the way it makes me feel. I like the way it makes those big black cocks hurt a little less and how it relaxes me to take it like a slut. Like a total BBC loving whore. We know I love big black cock and we know my good new friend loves it too. He loves to get nice and fucked up with me. He loves to watch all these big black dicks sliding in and out of my holes. My ass and my pussy of course but my throat takes it all too. Anything for that cum! One after the other I keep going, a girl like me is a total gangbang whore now and I know that I am going to have my body covered in that hot sticky load in no time. How can I say no anyway? I might just be too high…ha! Just kidding that’s not possibly, it just means I can take more black thick dicks!