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Drunk Phone Sex: I Spill My Secrets

drunk phone sexI got a wasted at a friend’s party last night. It takes a lot to get me drunk. I am a seasoned drunk phone sex slut. But I know when I start talking silly like which cartoon character I would fuck if I could (Scooby Doo by the way), or start sharing my secret fetishes, I am wasted. I admitted that I saw my son when he was younger fuck a pumpkin we had carved for Halloween. He had just seen the movie American Pie. He was like Jason Biggs, a horny boy looking for a warm hole to bust a nut into. We had no cherry pie in the house, so he improvised with a pumpkin.  Since then, I am all about pumpkin. Used to hate the smell and taste of pumpkin.  Now I love pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin pie and the smell of pumpkin candles. I was wasted to be babbling about my pumpkin fetish and how I got it. I am a trailer trash whore. Nothing embarrasses me, but my son is a different story. I promised him years ago I would never tell anyone he fucked a Halloween pumpkin. I had the attention of every dude at the party. No pumpkin in the house yet, or I would have suggested they fuck it for me. Instead, I challenged them to find something in the house to fuck. The most creative one got to fuck me. I knew they would all get to fuck me, but it was fun to make them work for it. They decided to work together. Six guys carved holes in this huge ass watermelon and fucked it in front of me. They did not realize that the watermelon had been doused with vodka and was fermenting. They got drunker because the vodka absorbed through their pee holes. What I discovered is fermented dicks made me drunker too. It was like someone gave me a vodka douche up my old cunt. I spent the night telling secrets and being a drunk gangbang whore. Now I have a watermelon fetish too.


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