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Freaky Phone Sex: Somethings Aren’t Meant for the Ass

freaky phone sexFreaky phone sex makes for fun calls. I was high as fuck last night taking calls. I have this one regular who is into weird insertions. He likes me fucking my ass and cunt with things not meant for either hole. I took this large ass squash my neighbor gave me from my garden. I put some olive oil up my ass; squirted it right inside me then sat on the vegetable sex toy. I grunted like a pig because the base was wide. I was determined to make it fit. It did, but I couldn’t get it out. My caller came and hung up when I was grunting like a pig. My husband came home and found me. I had white powder all over my face. I can be a messy user when I am uber high. Plus, I had the squash we were going to eat for dinner up my ass. He said it looked like I was using the squash as a big bouncy ball. Thank goodness I was high as fuck, or I would have been in serious pain, especially when my husband had to dislodge the veggie butt plug. I am sure you can picture the nasty mess that squash made of my ass. My ass made a nasty mess of that squash too.  My husband is such a deviant. He didn’t even wash off the squash before he cooked it and served it at the family dinner. When it is live phone sex, you never know what can happen.  I know one thing though, never put anything as big as your head up your ass. This was a lesson learned the hard way. I’m pretty sure I ruined my asshole. My husband and I laughed, because we always thought  what would ruin my ass would be all the big dick I let fuck my ass.


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